that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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