when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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