You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
