I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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