I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
