Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Randomize
