I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
