I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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