ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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