thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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