Small penises have feelings too.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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