i jhust puked up my retainher.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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