8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
