They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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