I feel like I'm in dance class right now
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
