If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
