Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
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