i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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