Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
