HIV tests are more positive than that guy
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
