and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
