Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
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her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You took a bar mat shot.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
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There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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