He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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