you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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