i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
