Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
