so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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