Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize