her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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