dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
