i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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