I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
