You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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