Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
someone owes me an orgasm
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
