At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
...so i touched it.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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