what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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