You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
