I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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