lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
