# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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