All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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