My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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