sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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