When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
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Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
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I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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