Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
