My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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