She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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