i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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