Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
whose parrot is this?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
