I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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