He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
