i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
