Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
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