The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You pole danced in your parka.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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