Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
