if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
