i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
