Porn is love you can see.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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