I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
