I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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