i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
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I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
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Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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