I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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