can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
