how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
