How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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