how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
