Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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